We need a what now?

There’s apparently been a lot of hullaballoo about how video games need a “Lester Bangs” to give them legitimacy. Who the fuck is Lester Bangs? When I first read this, I thought it was a call for more Leeroy Jenkins, which was even more confusing.

OK, fine, for the sake of sounding like something approaching a well-researched video game blog, I’ll go find out who Lester Bangs is. Oh boy, he’s yet another opinionated, rambling, “new journalist”, who used his “reviews” to spout off about what a cockmaster he was with only a cursory mention of whatever he was supposed to be reviewing. Yeah, we already have one of those. His name is Tim Rogers.

Tim, please hurry up and overdose on Darvon while playing Killer7 sometime soon so we can all get rich writing self-congratulating books and articles about your “legacy” and what an unappreciated visionary genius you were. Then we can say “We did have a Lester Bangs! It was Tim motherfucking Rogers, but you bastards, you crucified him!” Then we can put your face on t-shirts and get rich off those too.

KTHXBYE.

Update: Actually, come to think of it, Tim isn’t nearly mainstream enough; I doubt Lester Bangs got to wherever it was that he got to by reviewing obscure Japanese albums that were never released in the U.S. So… uh, replace “Tim Rogers” in the above post with “Penny Arcade”, and replace “Killer7” with “World of Warcraft”. There, that fixes everything. Tim! Do NOT overdose on Darvon!

Update: Holy crap, Stephen Swift of Polybius has written an incredible rebuttal to this article. Thanks Stephen!!